The Day The Twilight Died

I just came from the midnight showing of Twilight.  Two mimes on crack could have produced a better screen adaptation.  My stomach still aches with the nausea this film gave me.  Where to begin ? Viewing this film was more painful than watching an adolescent boy go through puberty.  Bella is obviously on some sort of illegal substance or she has some major ticks that make forming a coherent sentence impossible.  Edward is either bipolar or mentally challenged, on second thoughts maybe a combination of both.  The special effects reminded me of vintage 80s Chuck Norris.  The music was a strange mix of Mexican novella and and Yani new age.  The editing obviously was done by an individual with ADD off their meds.  And last,  but not even close to covering all the  possible mistakes,  was the entire lack of character development, at the end you are left wondering um who were the main characters again.  Stephanie Meyers said in L.A. "If I went to see it in a theater I would have walked outside to buy another ticket."  I wonder why, was it because even though she wrote the book it still made no sense.  The upside to my evening was I do not think I have laughed so hard with my girlfriends in a long time, I can at least take that to my grave.  Peace out Kristin